we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
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Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
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In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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