I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
