Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
