So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
is wine microwaveable?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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