i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
