it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
