If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
