so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
