Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
