thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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