I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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