Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize