i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize