Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
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He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
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So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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