Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize