shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
