Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
