Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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