It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
