You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
