Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm jealous of your bromance
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
barbara walters just said penis...
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
