he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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