Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
