thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize