A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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