the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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