Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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