I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
