I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
smell my finger.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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