Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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