Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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