Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
