you guys were way drunker than both of me
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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