sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
