He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
