well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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