i would punch a child for taco bell
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize