Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
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I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
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I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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