I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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