I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
