oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
