belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
