Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
