This girl is more easily done than said...
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
