Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
