i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
