last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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