I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
