i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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