Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
