Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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