I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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