Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize