i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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