don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Randomize
