I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
