I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
