you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
