Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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