so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
